by Tan Tzy Jiun
Black bark weather in April. The city is half-clothed in grey skies, lined with fleece. Outside, wreaths of clouds, near naked bodies foggy with oil paint behind windows. A small dog or three pulling on the leash. The city is barely emerging from winter’s blanket. I am ready to burn paper, sacrifice the newborn child, whatever it takes to lure spring back into the city walls. The grocery store wakes as the glass door slides open. It is early. The fruit section is still crowded with bird-sized pleasures. Oh. The nectarines have returned to the crates, flown in on birds from the southern hemisphere. Tightly spanxed, their curvaceous flesh dimple. Red pouches swell like tender cheeks straining against thin rind. My tongue gloves its shoulders with viscous spit, I drape the thirst over hanging breasts of grapefruits and lemons. The blueberries stare with their grit-filled eyes as I weigh the nectarines and swathe them in plastic. I weigh the southern half of this sweet earth. I then weigh the jealousy of the other fruits: the sullenness of wild pears, the skinniness of purple plums, and my arch enemy— bananas. I tie the skirt end of the bag filled with smooth -skinned cheeks. I tell the plane-worn, eye-bagged mangoes it wasn’t them. It was me. Now the nectarine has returned, I am again under her spell and no one else’s. I hurry home to guzzle sparkling water, to wet the inside of my mouth for her skin. Then I eat and eat on the loveseat, crescent away her full moons, suck her stomach clean. On the grill pan, rosemary steaks sizzle alongside lines of white asparagus. An apron hangs around my neck. My husband returns after work, teeth glinting like caviar. We feed in eden, my salt-crusted contours and burnt edges soften in sweet, gravied frenzy. Dessert is next, so I nibble nervously on my fingers. It is misty April, black with bark. A man knocks on the door, and then another. They discuss the species of my desire— To what ends I will yield and dent. Then, we become a long night that refuses to sun. ____
Tan Tzy Jiun is a poet and historian from Malaysia. Her work is published and forthcoming in Here: a poetry journal, Stone of Madness Press, Sine Theta Magazine, Quince Magazine, and Eunoia Review, among others. You can find her on twitter tweeting her funny little words on @tzyjiun_