When I dream of you now

When I dream of you now you’re always writing
often in verse, leaving shape-poem diamonds
for me to find on 1990s monitors
in our old residence hall on College Street.

They say, we were disaster held
in common. Say, I
                know you loved
                and tried, although
                        afraid.

Another night you’re in prestigious journals,
have shed your family name.
                                                    You touch my arm
and say you didn’t know, then, who you were.

And I’m not jealous. I know you're my mind 
speaking to me, leaving letters on my pillow.

You won’t exit ungracefully for that lover,
all you want is to be near and exchange kindness. 

I didn’t know who I was then, you say sadly,
And I say, that’s all right, come hold me now.

Catherine Rockwood reads and edits for Reckoning Magazine, and reviews books for Strange Horizons. Her poetry chapbook, Endeavors To Obtain Perpetual Motion, is available from The Ethel Zine Press. A micro chapbook, And We Are Far From Shore: poems for Our Flag Means Death, is forthcoming from Ethel in 2023.