you have to live to hold your own failures in cupped palms, drink them up like gin and fire. to spit blood on burnt earth. to bind your chest wrong the first time. to feel the blunt pain of it and know it still hurts less than your family calling you a girl. to try again and keep trying and keep trying and keep trying until it still hurts but you kind of like it.

you have to live for spite. for prickling intuition made gooseflesh. for late night gas station snacks and shy smiles from a trans girl. for the hurt that swallows the love. for you. for you. for every version of you because they all deserve catharsis, even when you hate them.

you have to live because the bad guys will. because fuck planting seeds in a garden unless you’re here to see it blossom and bloom and occupy. because the bird in your ribs doesn’t yet know the skies. because you’re going to weep the first time you step out of your skin and into yourself.

you have to live so you can feel softness in the brambles. so love can find you even though you’ve mistreated it. so you can write shitty poems and send them to your friends because this version of you has friends you can send poems to. so that when you get that email at 3 AM telling you the aurora is visible, you can rush outside into the snow and stare in awe at the magnetised sky, pink and purple and green and yours forever.

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Ash Vale (they/them) is a queer, non-binary, neurodivergent Canadian. They’re a big fan of cryptids, guts, and weird lil guys. Their work has been published in places like Heartlines Spec, DreamForge, and more. You can find their newsletter and stories at https://linktr.ee/ashvale or on BlueSky and IG as @AshValeWrites.